Im too sexy for my hair
by Lady Persia
Summary: Rigsby is jealous of Patricks hair.


I dont know what came over me when i typed this and im not even sure any of you wIll find this funny. Friends of mine read it and were in hysterics. *shrugs*.

Please review. XD

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A PARODY OF THE MENTALIST.

Rigsby is jealous of Patrick Jane's hair.

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Rigsby stormed into the CBI office in a furious state.

'Where is he?' he bellowed.

Cho looked up from his desk and asked 'Who?'

'Patrick friggin' Jane. Where is he?'

'Oh, right there' said Cho, pointing at Patrick who sat at his usual comfortable leather sofa. He had a book in his hand and was in great concentration.

'YOU!' Rigsby charged at Jane. 'You stole my hair gel.'

Patrick was taken aback, not only at the rude interruption but at the fact that Rigsbys hair was.....a mess.

'What in all that is holy and sacred happened to your hair?' he asked his fellow colleague.

'You happened to it, JANE! YOU **STOLE** MY HAIR GEL!' screamed Rigsby.

Patrick didn't who was in more agony, his eyes or Rigsby hair.

'And why would I do that? Besides I don't use all that crap, my hair is _au natural_' replied Jane, in a very calm voice that could only irritate Rigsby a bit more. Jane ran his thin fingers through his hair and flashed his best smile. *swoon*

'Your hair looks like a horses arse, man...' said Rigsby, raring to tear Jane apart and also sounding a bit Australian.

'Hey! Make a pop at my lush hypnotising eyes or the way that I dress, but when you diss the hair, you are going a step too far my friend.' said Jane in a slightly raised voice, he was a bit miffed as you can imagine.

'And what are you going to do about it? Slap me with your handbag?' retorted Rigsby.

Cho sat at his desk watching the play evolve in front of him.

'He does have nice hair, though' Cho indicated at Jane's hair and Jane beamed.

'Who asked you, short pants?' Rigsby fired back.

'Yes my hair is awesome, okay? At least it doesn't look like a carpet burn' sniggered Jane.

'That's it, me and you...OUTSIDE. We are going to settle this man-to-man' demanded Rigsby.

'Are you going to have a duel?' asked Cho. 'Because that would be illegal and you can go to prison for that and can I come watch?......please?.

Rigsby and Jane shot Cho 'the glare of death'.

Cho gave a little smile and picked up the phone to call the police.

Lisbon entered and found Rigsby and Jane giving each other 'the glare of death'

'What's going on here?' she asked.

Rigsby gave a little snort and said 'Jane stole my hair gel'

Lisbon smiled and replied 'That's ridiculous, look at his hair, he doesn't need hair gel, and its perfect to way it is'

'Stop flirting with my hair, woman!' said Patrick, he blushed.

'Besides even if he did take it, it's nothing personal.' she told Rigsby.

UH-OH, thought Cho. Duck and cover.....time for liiiiiiift off!!

'NOTHING PERSONALLLL?' spat Rigsby.

'That enough!!' declared Lisbon. 'Now, the both of you put this incident behind you. Shake hands or whatever it is you men do'

'Fine' said Patrick. 'I did not steal your hair gel, but if it makes you happy, I will buy you some' he said to Rigsby

Rigsby was still not convinced. 'I'm sorry I said something had died on your head and hatched eggs' he said quietly.

'What?!!? You didn't say that!' said Patrick.

'What did I say then?' asked a confused Rigsby.

'That my hair looked like a horses *ARSE*' Patrick was trying not to lose his cool.

'Oh. My bad' said Rigsby, giving a little squint to Patricks sexiness hair.

'Ok' Lisbon said, smiling at the both of them. 'Now give each other a hug'

They both grumbled and instead stared at their own feet.

'Hug. Now' hissed Lisbon

'Ok!' said Jane.

'Jeez!' exclaimed Rigsby.

Both of them crept towards each other, trying to avoid eye contact and just.....slowly put their arms around each other.

Cho watched in amusement, he was also ready to burst out laughing and give birth to his organs.

'Okie, that's it.' Patrick pulled out of the man hug, before things got a bit more.....weird. 'I'm going, i'm late for my date' he said.

'What date?' asked Cho, Rigsby and Lisbon at once.

'With Van Pelt, it's her treat this time' said Jane in that innocent adorable way. 'We're going to have pizza and then maybe hold hands under the table. Cool, huh?'

Cho and Lisbon's jaws dropped to the floor.

'Right, so let me get this straight. You steal my hair gel, make fun of my hair and now you're steal the girl that I like so much that I cant even ask her out..... Anything else I should know about?' said a fuming Rigsby, who also twitched a little at the revelation.

'Yes' said Patrick airily. 'She's pregnant'

CUE RIGSBY CHASING JANE DOWN THE STREET AND THEN TRIPPING OVER A DOG.

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End file.
